Lasting Relationship Advice For Men

Most relationship advice for men doesn't tell you a big part of why most relationships don't last. It's cruel and deceiving, so let's set the matter straight with some no-nonsense guidance.

When people enter a relationship, they have high expectations. They expect to be treated well, valued, appreciated, and so on. And they also assume that the relationship will last.

That's true whether it's a business, employment, or romantic relationship. After all, most people are very uncomfortable about looking for a new job or a new mate. They fear the frequent rejection that they'll face before eventually finding a replacement.

They also fear that they may end up moving lower down on the food chain:

• "What if I can't find a new job that pays as well as the old one and has perks as good as (if not better than) what I was getting before?"
  
• "What if I can't find a new mate who's as good as (if not better than) the one I had before?"

However, few jobs (or mates!) live up to the hype and implied promises you heard during the job interview (or on first dates, which are also job interviews of a sort).

But the perceived risk of change is so traumatic to most people that they'll remain in a job or dating relationship that's far short of what they'd like it to be. However, it only takes one side to end a relationship.

In fact, there's a good chance that you'll someday get a "pink slip" at work despite your wish to stay on ... or to get a "Dear John" letter despite your wish to keep the relationship going.

The best way to handle that risk is to be marketable so that when relationships do end, you'll have a much easier time replacing those relationships.

The sky-high divorce rate should tip you off to the reality that there are no absolute guarantees. Even when she solemnly promises to love and cherish you "Until death do you part", she's not referring to one of you actually dying physically. She means until her feelings for you die. She's there until she tires of you, and then all bets are off (although you'll still be considered "scum" if you bail first).

That means that yes, even though you probably have the fantasy of finding one women to grow old with and who will stick by your side for better or for worse ... the odds aren't great that this will actually happen.

However, there's a "quick & dirty" way of boosting your odds for relationship longevity: select a mate who needs you.

That sounds flippant, but it isn't. If you've ever sat around listening to thirty-something women grumbling about the "man shortage", you may have noticed that each one of those women has a reasonably good job and also a reasonably good income.

In fact, the chances are excellent that each of them has been able to do some traveling to exotic foreign destinations. They've been wined and dined now and then at trendy restaurants and clubs. And they've spent a good portion of their lives at the cash registers of the better malls in town. They've seen it all and done it all. They're bored and they're boring.

Why do such women have poorer odds of long-term relationship success? Because none of those women needs a man. Rather, they want a man who will bring home the bacon, keep them entertained and function as something of a servant.

You're probably aware that wants are a lot shorter lived than needs. But you can play this to your advantage if you're aware of how women's minds work differently than yours.

Most relationship advice won't tell you this because it's politically correct. We aren't.