Modern dating is a minefield and this is probably true more so for men than it is for women. First there's the issue of choosing the place and the activity. And once that hurdle is over, there's the issue of what to wear, what to talk about and whether or not to pay. While it is true that many of the dating rules have changed, it is also true that men and women themselves have not changed that much. Sounds confusing?? Read on for some tips that may sort through some of that confusion for you.
Ask Her Out
Before dating anybody, somebody needs to be pro-active and ask somebody out first. So who should do this? Traditionally, it has always been the man whose job it was to initiate dates, the reason having something to do with men's desire to pursue and women's desire to be pursued. Even nowadays, the simple (and unfortunate) fact is that the guy who puts himself forward is the one who is more successful at dating, no matter what technique you can think of that may in some circumstances prove this otherwise. The reason it works is more likely to be that men who pursue women give off an air of self-confidence and this is what women find appealing. In the dating game, passivity is generally not that attractive.
Make sure the woman knows she is actually on date.
It's amazing how many times a man will say something like, 'meet me at such and such bar; I'll be there around ten with a couple of mates. Bring whatsername.' And then they expect the woman to fall into their arms. If you are interested in dating then date HER. Show that you are not the kind of man who needs his buddies as a crutch. Buddies are extra baggage; they need to be entertained and it is not your date's job to find entertainment for them. If your friends demand your company on Saturday nights, then schedule your date for another night.
Choose Somewhere Relaxed and Casual
One area where modern dating trumps traditional is that now there are so many more options when it comes to choosing somewhere to go. Formal dinner dating is out . Casual relaxed dating is a better option so choose an activity where she can relax and have fun, like playing pool, swimming or going on a picnic. Films are good if you are both really into them (festivals are better than regular films) and if you are going to do dinner, pick somewhere informal and relaxed with an interesting menu to show that you are open to new things.
Compliment
If you are stuck for things to say, find something to compliment her about. Avoid complementing her on her looks. It's too obvious and superficial. Women like to think of themselves as interesting and worthy people so go for something less surface-oriented. Clothes are a good place to start, as women generally like to think that they have style. Other options may be a book she is reading, jewellery or any other thing on her that invites comment such as a tattoo or piercing. Other than compliments, stick with simple topics that may lead somewhere such as favourite pastimes. Don't try to come across as too clever or original.
Always offer to pay on the first date
Paying on the first date shows that you are a gentleman and that you 'know how to be the man'. It does not mean that you should pay everytime; that would probably make you look a little too controlling and chauvenistic. If you are dating a nice woman, she will offer to contribute as a way to show her appreciation. Showing that you can sometimes accept a woman paying for you, means that you are not attached like glue to your male ego which in turn, makes you look slightly less caveman.
Above all, try to have fun. Smile and be happy to see her. Make sure she understands that you like her for who she is. You may find you will be dating for a long time.
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