You can compare women with mushrooms, in the sense that most women are healthy and tasty, but some types of women are poisonous for men who get intimately involved with them.
One example of these poisonous types of women is the "Sad Switch." A switch is a woman who is never alone, she moves from one relationship to the next one, without a gap in which she is alone.
The Sad Switch is a woman who just broke up with someone, and now she needs warmth, sympathy, and a shoulder to cry on. She is not ready for a new relationship, but she wants someone to comfort her. For this purpose she recruits an "in-between-boyfriend."
The "in-between-boyfriend" is a very nice guy, who knows how to listen, who is very understanding, and very polite. He is the type of guy who will listen empathetically and patiently to any woman talking about her problems.
He is the perfect counselor, and he works for free! Women don't have sex with him; the vague mention of the possibility of physical contact somewhere in the future, when the grief is overcome, is enough to keep him listening attentively.
This very nice guy is often raised with the attitude that men should help women in need, that a good guy will always support women, and that when you see a woman cry, you should ask her how you can help her. This nice guy thinks that when he is nice enough, in the end he will be appreciated for this attitude, and she will give him her love.
Of course, this never happens. What happens is that when the Sad Switch has overcome her grief, she will ditch the nice guy, and look for an erotic contact with an exciting man. She never considered the "in-between-boyfriend" to be a potential partner, but just used him in the same way you use a box of tissues.
If the nice guy is properly brainwashed, he will think this was just bad luck, that the next woman he will meet, will treat him differently, and give him the love he deserves. But what will often happen is that he will meet the next Sad Switch, because they have a special radar. A Sad Switch can always spot the nicest guy in the crowd, just like a lion can always spot the weakest antelope in the herd.
If you are such a nice guy, don't take it personal. She never saw you as a person, but only as a disposable box of tissues. Do not confront her with this, there is nothing to gain. You have been used by a woman who does not feel any remorse about using you, and you cannot change the past.
Here is some practical advice for the "nice guys" who are at risk. Men who are most susceptible for being recruited as an
"in-between-boyfriend" are men who have low self-esteem, who have been raised with the idea that all women are angels. The classical "Nice Guys."
The best remedy you can use against the Sad Switch is this: when a woman talks to you about negative experiences with other men, you interrupt her, and you do not listen. You interrupt her and then you do one of the two following things:
1. You ask her: "Why do you tell ME all this?" or "What do you expect ME to do with this information?" This makes it clear to her that you have too much self-respect to allow her to dump all her problems in your lap.
2. You calmly tell her: "I think it is very disrespectful to talk to people you hardly know about your problems of the past. I would appreciate it if you would stop talking about these problems with me."
Refuse to allow women you hardly know to talk endlessly about the problems they had with other men. This will help you with two things:
1. It will make sure that the Sad Switch moves to a nicer guy with all her emotional garbage, so she won't poison your life. You will never again be used again as if you are a box of tissues.
2. You will gain the respect of women who are not the Sad Switch, but who were just testing your character. Sometimes ordinary women will test you this way. You pass their test by showing you have the balls to stand up for yourself.
Please remember that this only applies to women who want to use and abuse you. When you have good friends, male or female, who ask you to listen to their problems, just like they would listen to your problems, then of course you do that. That's what friends are for.
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