Close your eyes and remember the early days of your last relationship. Everything seemed to be so perfect: You were both on your best behavior, falling in love, wanting to spend lots of time together and seeing no imperfections in one another.
That was then! Things fell apart at some point in time, to the level that one of you had to terminate the relationship permanently. No more make-up sex to bring you back together. No more phone calls to gauge the other person's state of mind. No more emails fishing for a possible opening to bring you back together.
What do you do now? There is a large vacuum in your life. You spent so much time with your former lover that you have no idea what to do with being alone. Every once in a while you think to yourself that your restored freedom will be the best thing that has happened to you. Now you can hang out with your friends, visit the parents, stay home and kick back - all without worrying about your partner. But then reality kicks in.
First, you have trouble sleeping at nights. You toss and turn, trying not to think about the break-up and how much you miss your former partner in life - the one you swear you will always love! Yet, the next day you remember having seen the hour digit on your alarm clock for every hour of the night, as you relive the memories and look for the reasons why. Throughout the day, on the other hand, you can't stay awake. Sitting in meetings you notice your eyes are getting heavy and you start drifting away. Of course there is always someone in the meeting that notices you're nodding off. Even when alert, your mind wanders through your memory banks - rehashing the history.
Most mornings, you don't feel like getting out of the house. You stay in bed longer - not sleeping, but tossing and turning more, feeling sorry for yourself. You mope around the house and delay taking your shower to the middle of the day on the weekends. You go through bouts of what seems like a depressed mood with occasional sparks of hope and energy. You don't answer your phone and screen your calls. When someone asks you to join in on a night out or a drink, you maul over the idea over and over, until it's too late to go and you send a text message to bow out of getting together.
Some days it works the opposite. After going to bed really early the night before, with the hopes of getting some rest, you get out of bed before the crack of dawn. You get ready as if you have an important appointment and leave the house at the same time that the garbage trucks are on their early morning collection rounds. You get frustrated about getting stuck behind them, as though you have an urgent commitment you have to fulfill. Once you find the open road, you'll speed your way into the driveway of the closest coffee shop. Of course you will find a parking spot right in front of the entrance. After all, it's barely 7 O'clock in the morning! You spend as much time as possible outside of the house before and after work, aimlessly looking for variety in the local hang-outs where you can have your laptop connect to the Internet. In fifteen minutes you run out of things to look for online. Refreshing your email's Inbox seems to be of no use either, since your laptop doesn't come back with any good news about a new message, junk mail excepted.
Your eating habits become erratic. You go through phases where the best-tasting meal is tasteless to you. You lose your appetite one day and stuff yourself another. At times it feels like your body is having a tough time digesting the food. Other times, you feel hungry all day.
All in all, your life seems to be on an unending roller coaster. Yet, you will soon find out that just like when you got the biggest "boo boo" on your knees when running around with your friends after school and thought you were injured for life, exactly the same way as you supposed the world was over when you got a bad grade, the very same way as you knew your mother will never forgive you for having broken the family heirloom and in a similar fashion as when you thought you will never be old enough to drive, this too shall pass.
The Sun will come out. The birds will sing. You will be able to fall asleep at night. You'll find your friends are right where you left them. Your family will embrace you and welcome you to their homes. You will be able to enjoy a nice meal. You will value your own existence. You will forgive. You many not forget the memories - the good and the bad. Yet, you will survive. You will fall in love again!
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