Homecoming Tips For Airman and Their Families

The Air Force appreciates that it's not always easy for Airmen and their families to readjust to being together after absences of 12 months or more. Very often, while an Airman has been away, their spouse and children have made significant changes to their lifestyle and routine.

The Air Force has the following tips to help Air Force families who are adjusting to a returning father of mother after an extended deployment.

For Airmen:
1. Spend time with the whole family, setting aside large chunks of the day for bonding
2. Praise and acknowledge the changes and adaptations your family members have made - this approval will go a long way
3. Take time for your spouse: romantic dinners and gifts are an important part of the readjustment period
4. Try not to be critical of new things or developments, even if they are not the way you would have done them
5. Appreciate that some different rule or routines may have developed while you were away
6. Be aware there may be widely different reactions to your deployment from your children
7. Infants may be a little shy, that's normal
8. Be careful with money - the temptation to splurge because you're home might not be the best way to celebrate
9. Everyone in the family needs individual time - take time to talk with each child and your, of course, your spouse

For military spouses:

1. Make the homecoming a special event, like a birthday party or an anniversary occasion
2. Let your spouse have time to readjust to the home again - don't schedule a lot of activities
3. Family time is key; lots of time together as a family will help the transition
4. Expect that your spouse may do a few things different than before - don't be overly demanding or critical of new ways or opinions
5. Hold to the family budget even though you may want to show your love for your returning spouse with lots of material goods; it might be wiser to cook or make something instead of buying that expensive new toy they've always wanted
6. Your spouse may like to think you're helpless without his or her help; don't be surprised if there's a little confusion and disappointment that you did so well handling the household finances and responsibilities
7. Don't forget the children while you are welcoming home your spouse - keep on top of their schoolwork and social lives
8. In addition to caring for your returning spouse and remaining close to your children, do not neglect your health or needs - you are of no help to your family if you let yourself go
9. It's also possible that your children may act up during this time, testing the authority of your spouse or just otherwise expressing their need for more attention. Children, as you know, don't express everything in words: be attentive to any "acting up" for what it might tell you about the children's needs or reactions to this family readjustment time.