Don't Enable Already Powerful Abusers

Whether it's Chris Brown and Rhianna or any other less famous couple, don't contribute to some person's abusive behavior. Don't be an enabler. Bad people don't need your help to live their selfish, aggressive, deceived lives. Don't give them even more power.

Every time the target of degrading emotional abuse or physical manhandling or emotional and physical abuse as one, they are showing the perpetrator that their behavior has no consequences with you.

As I once heard Oprah say, "when people show you who they are, believe them, the first time."

Forgiveness is a necessity in any relationship but there is a line of civility, if crossed, especially if you've already given this person previous passes, should call for the immediate end of the relationship. Any person who goes back to a perpetrator capable of animal-like behavior is rolling the dice with their safety and emotional stability.

We all know that victims are often terrified of leaving because they are threatened with horrible pain if they do but staying is a guarantee of more of the same abuse. If a perpetrator threatens you, children, your loved ones, round up all your 100 percent trustworthy friends, hit the police station, hire a bodyguard if necessary (getting your loved ones to pitch in for the cost) and get legal help. Then move if possible. If you can't do that, just do all you can to protect yourself.

If a monster wants to get you they'll get you and that's a terrifying prospect to accept but remaining in an abusive relationship steals your dignity and devours your soul.

So to Rhianna and any other punching bag out there, and this goes for constant emotional abuse and for men abused by women, and this is a dirty truth too, build strong alliances with friends and family who have the courage to stand by you and then flee. It's brave, it's smart and it will allow you a chance at life. Friends and family will normally not step in until you give them permission. Don't be afraid, prideful or embarrassed to do so. Be wise and self protective, for yourself and especially if you have children.

One disclaimer -- always tell the full truth. A small segment of the population will make up lies to hurt others. That sort of behavior, although criminal, is rarely discovered an punished. It's disgraceful and actions of a coward and psychopath. Tell the truth, surround yourself with as many quality, committed people as possible, get legal power and move forward.

Michael X on People, Love & Life