Codependence is a term often used to describe common traits in those who are closely involved with addicts. Similar traits can be found in partners involved in unbalanced relationships or those with an unhealthy dynamic, such as in abuse situations. Often, the playing out of these codependent tendencies results in frustration, anger, disappointment, heartache, martyrdom, and a desire to control on the part of the codependent person. Here are 5 signs that you may exhibit codependent tendencies in your relationship:
1. You minimize or rationalize your partner's behavior to yourself. You may say or think statements like, "At least he or she doesn't _____." While it is true some situations may be worse than yours, this does not mean that your partner's behavior is acceptable for you or should be ignored.
2. You attempt to hide or make excuses for your partner's bad behavior around others. You may feel a desire to protect your partner's reputation, as well feel ashamed for putting up with certain behaviors.
3. You try to take responsibility and cover for your partner's poor choices. You may be the person who calls in sick for your partner when he or she was up all night drinking and is really hung over. You may even attempt to step in and fulfill the responsibilities that your partner has failed to live up to if possible.
4. You feel as if you cannot go on and live without your partner and will do anything, or tolerate almost anything, to keep the relationship going. Ultimatums may be made and then dropped, and you may get to the point of letting things go that bother you just to avoid a confrontation and risk losing the relationship.
5. You are convinced that your partner cannot go on without you, either. You may feel a sense of responsibility for your partner's health, well being, and even life. You may feel as if you are guilty if your partner does something as a result of you leaving, such as self destruct or harm him or herself.
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