Codependence Signs - 4 Indicators You May Be Codependent in Your Relationship

Codependence is a concept that is usually applied to describe some of the common traits and behavior patterns of those who are closely involved with addicts. Any unbalanced relationship, such as an emotionally abusive one, can attract the type of person who possesses "codependent" type traits. The high level of tolerance often found in the partners of addicts and/or abusers is a hallmark of the codependent personality. Here are 4 indicators that you may harbor codependent tendencies:

1. You may rationalize and minimize bad behavior your partner commits to yourself. In your mind you may think, "Well it could be worse, at least my partner doesn't ______." In this way, you try to make your partner's behavior look better by comparison to the awful behavior of others. That strategy is similar to comparing two injuries, one resulting in paralysis, the other in broken bones. One may be worse than the other, but neither is desirable. Your relationship doesn't have to hurt.

2. You may hide or make excuses for your partner's poor behavior to other people, and attempt to take responsibility and cover for your partner. You might be motivated by a desire to uphold your partner's reputation, but you also may be concerned about your own image and feel ashamed that you are putting up with destructive behavior.

3. You could feel as if you cannot live without your partner, and that you cannot possibly go on without this relationship. You may tolerate all kinds of behavior out of fear of losing your partner, and if you do give any limits or ultimatums, you let them slide to keep the peace and your partner.

4. You may be convinced that your partner won't be able to function properly or go on without you either. You may take on the responsibility for his or her well being, physical health, and even his or her life. You may feel a sense of guilt for what could happen to your partner if you were to leave, and feel more comfortable thinking of yourself as the "savior" of someone rather than as an equal partner with give and take.